Its been 17 years and 15 days…

After a looooong absence.

helloWell maybe a year or so since I wrote anything other than work stuff, greeting cards wishes and notes to my bank manager… just you get the jist.

“Dear Sir… I know I just moved, but get this… I need to move again..and again…and again.”

But now I’m back home in Colorado, things are returning to some kind of normalcy and I no longer want to kill myself.. time to start pecking away.

See how I slipped that in there? Don’t worry, I’m on the upswing. Another time.

So now I know I’m NOT a California girl, and my Botox bill has doubled, I’ve started to notice something is missing. Ah yes…

Its been 2 years since my last date.

Imagine 2 years without bad conversation. 700+ days without an awkward interview over coffee. Nearly 2 years without sex (boomerangs don’t count).. and at least that since anyone saw me fully, daylight naked. Basically I’m now a virgin.

Christ… I think this basically makes me a Republican.

And since I have no time for those ass hats, I guess its time for some Tinder. Time to break this 2 year streak of lonesomeness.

I wonder if everything still works?





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