Injury Blues

Injury Blues

No one likes getting injured. Unless its the type of injury where they give you really good drugs and where you can take a week or two off work, no questions asked and you’re not in any risk of permanent or terminal damage.

I think we all get one of those per lifetime.

For me it was playing badminton one lunchtime at the age of 24. Overhead shot. Bam… threw my back out and was off work for 6 weeks. 6 weeks of lying down watching Wimbledon, the Tour De France, the Giro and taking quite a few naps.. all aided by a deliciously large bottle of Percocet and twice weekly chiropractor visits. Ahh…. UK healthcare.. sometimes not so bad.

But these days, taking 6 weeks off work might mean losing your job, and to be honest, potentially your sanity. My tolerance for doing nothing just isn’t what it was.
What can I say, I’m out of practice doing nothing and life is just too short to spend weeks watching sporting events and movies from 1965. (well, too short to do it twice). Hence I try to stay limber, I try not to do stupid things too often and I prefer to take my vacation in full health. No opiates required.

With the advent of Crossfit, scooters and motorcycles in my life, not to mention the ever present bikes, dogs, backpacks, yoga and sheer clumsiness of being slightly blind.. well I always have a band-aid and icepack on some body part. Last year I shoveled 6 tonnes of sand to lay a patio and wound up in surgery reparing a torn tendon; I spent 2 months with my ankle in ice due after tripping over my laces and then pulled my neck while trying to reach my feet in camel pose and wound up having to sleep on a board. His name was Dean. And lets not go into the time I sliced through my Achilles with my mountain bike chain ring… nuff said there.

But lately I seem to be learning how to tuck and roll a little more effectively. Sure, I spent May without kneecaps after hitting a curb on my bike, but since then, I’ve fallen over boxes, fell up the stairs and off my motorcycle (slowly, sideways).. and  haven’t broken the seal on a bandage yet.
I must have developed quite the bounce  or maybe its all that Cross fit.. I’m just getting used to constant pain. Or so I thought.

I was boasting of my good health yesterday with my boss, who I’ve watched limping, hunched over and sometimes downright crawling through the last 2 years of Crossfit. He was visiting from Houston and I was trying to tempt him into a WOD at my local gym. He claimed a re-occurring back injury caused by one too many row/ kettlebell/ sit up combos and I danced around him, mocking his lack of stamina and general ‘old-ness’

Cue me lying on the floor of my gym -4 hours later -writhing in pain.

Karma is a bitch. 

Apparently when your back starts hurting during some deadlifts, its not time to add more weight. And its certainly not time to then try to best your mile run time. I was fine until 7 minutes in at which point I leaned forward and my back said ‘not on your life’ and quit moving. I literally cramped up from my butt to my mid back.. just one big spasm. I think my eyeballs rolled back into my sockets at one point as I set a new record for WOD pain.

Ever seen someone run while pushing on the stitch in their side and their clutching back?
Think Quasimodo in a sports bra. And I’m sure I’ll find it funny one day.(small consolidation.. I still wasn’t the slowest.. even if I had to crawl on the floor back into the gym)… I’m terrified that I might have to take a break from WODs for a few days… Noooooooooooooo. I need my crack. I need my fix.

So I guess now its time to really join the Crossfit community and start complaining about a nagging injury while still trying to kip, jump, double under and jerk.  On the plus side, I guess I can not feel guilty skipping a WOD but damn.. I was just starting to enjoy burpees.

F-k,do I have a concussion too….?

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