If, like most 40 somethings, you fall prey to the occasional (every night) insomnia, you know all about the 3.07am time frame. You’ve still got time to fall back to sleep and get in a solid few more hours.. or, like me, you can lie awake worrying about getting back to sleep for a few hours, only to conk out at 5.59am just as the alarm clicks on. I much prefer this plan.. I can get it so much quality thinking time.
What keeps me spinning at 3am? It used to be my money pit house.. I’d lie awake wondering which bits I could hear dropping off, leaking, rotting away. Thinking about all the things I couldn’t afford to fix and the increasing list of ‘must do’s that I somehow would need to fund. Drainage issues, sinking foundations, cracks in the roof and yes, even the girl I once found asleep in my garage. You know, the usual adult stuff.
But these days, cosy in a rental and steadily reclaiming my grip on my Visa, you’d think I’d be sleeping like a baby. No kids to worry about, no leaking roof and no immediate lay offs in the future. Surely this should be positively vacation time for my brain.
Not so much.
Apparently my psyche likes to stay busy and these days its poking me away at 2-3am every morning to remind me that I don’t have a career, that I’ve been single for 6 years and oh yes, one day my dog will die. I know..I can’t help it. First world problems. Other unimportant questions which will be bugging me at 3am tomorrow morning include;
- Did that British guy not call me back because I mentioned on this blog that he was a douche (which he sounded, but who knows maybe he is lovely even though he does talk about himself in the third person)? Or was he just rude?
- Was it rude of me to call him douchey?
- Is my blog too rude?
- Is my blog making me undateable?
- Come to think of it, I’ve had a lot less dates since starting this blog.. maybe I need to start blogging about something else I know about like medical ailments
- Can I still get away with wearing shorts given my terrible varicose veins or is it too revolting for others?
- Are my varicose veins the reason I’m single?
- When I discussed becoming the Golden Girls with Hope, did we actually set some weird predictive spell that means I’m just counting down my days to house coats and violet hair?
- And is that such as bad thing?
- Is it true that if you don’t use it, you lose it? And if so, how do I find it again?
- …And why are vibrators so damn expensive?No wonder I’ve lost it.. I can’t afford it.
- If I moved to another city, would I be found in 3 yrs eaten by dogs because of my hermit like tendencies?
- And would anyone come to my funeral?
- And if you’re not religious, where do you have a funeral? Would Gary Lees be open to it.. I’ve always felt comfortable there..
- Why do I crave friends and then get all claustrophobic as soon as I have plans?And how does everyone else manage to have zillions of friends, and kids, and a job and still stay sane when I’m struggling to feed myself?
- Could I make money reading bedtime stories to kids.. because I’d really like to (no creepiness intended, I just like good stories)?
- I wish they had bedtime stories for adults..
- Read by Ryan Gosling preferably
- If I’ve ever going to write a book, shouldn’t I have an idea of something by now?
- If I’m not going to be write something, should I buy a sewing machine?
- If I had a sewing machine I could make all my own clothes and lost of bedding
- Would that make me thrifty and creative or sad and cat woman-ish?
And that gets me to 4:07am. So if you’re up at 3am anytime.. give me a call. I can talk you out of buying that Insanity DVD and you can reassure me about my vein situation.