The one achievement I didn’t actually want…

Well I’ve long joked with friends about this and unfortunately my latest achievement it was confirmed by eHarmony this weekend. Yes Lay-dees and Genle-men….I have outdated Denver.  I have apparently, dated all the single guys within a 150 mile radius of the Denver metro area.

How did I come by this fact? Glad you asked.

I was alerted to this new status via an email from eHarmony (my 1 month membership expires this week), informed me that my requirements for potential suitors were too strict ‘regarding location’ and suggested that should I wish to extend my membership, and my willingness to travel 300 miles +, they were sure they could help me find ‘that special person’. But within my current range (Colorado), there was no-one they could match me with.  Not even close.


Now I know I can be demanding, requiring not only a pulse but brain cells in my potential suitors, but I didn’t think I was that picky. I checked and rechecked my ‘Must Haves’  (a Job, Not Married) and ‘Not Important’ (Salary, Kids, Education, Height, Weight, Ability to distinguish between ‘they’re’ and ‘their’. ).. but nope… other than location, pretty much everything else was wide open. But I thought.. hey its a state of 5.18 million (over half of which are men).. there has to be at least one guy who can stand the sight of me and entertain a few dinners.

Which brings me to the conclusion that I have in fact, dated everyone in Denver.

And so now I must move.

Or become a lesbian.

So..???? Sorry. Can’t do it.  The girl thing.

Which means I need to move.

Yes, I know I’m being over dramatic. Not everyone internet dates and there are lots of lovely single men out and about who just haven’t met me yet (and vice versa), but it does cause me to wonder if, in this state of married folks with kids and 22-26 yr old mountain bikers, hikers and skiers… maybe my dharma is trying to tell me that a change is in order.

I moved to the US, and Colorado 17 years ago. And other than a ill researched 2 years stay in Seattle, I’ve resided in Denver and Boulder for the majority of those 17 years. I travelled a lot during my consulting days, living in cities and diverse as Detroit, Dallas and Minneapolis, but I’ve never found a city that made me want to move. I loved the sunshine, the mountains, the small town-ness and did I mention the sunshine? All 330 days of it a year. Even between the snow storms.

Sure we get now get snow in May and 70 degrees in January, and the small town feel of Denver has rapidly vanished as the metro area expands and grows. But with change has come culture and great food, but also shitty traffic and terrible terrible drivers.  House prices are still in the ‘sane’ range and there are always the mountains to escape to (especially if you like sitting on I70 on Sunday afternoon for a few hours). Its a great place to live… but its not the only place to live.

While I’ve always tolerated our winters, lately its really gotten me down. My SAD renders me blue for a couple of months, and my blood thinners mean head to toe thermals from November through April.  My snowboarding/ cross country ski days are so few in number that I could probably do both more often if I actually moved somewhere warm and took ‘ski’ weekends. You know, being cold.. for fun. And after 17 years, I really would like to live closer to water. I worked out that my nearest ocean is 18 hours of driving away…thats just wrong.

But what about friends, family, community? 17 years is a lot of roots. Well it is and it isn’t.
I have a few close friends in town but the majority are ‘lovely to see you’ acquaintances who I see maybe once or twice a year. All of my family is back in the UK and my community? Well other than my community garden, nothing other than my extensive network of doctors really tethers me to the state. I’ve downsized, I rent, and I literally could work anywhere. The friends who matter will stick around, the rest will stay connected via Facebook.. its remarkable really, how ‘footloose’ I am at the age of 41. And there’s something good and sad in that.

But I could move somewhere warm all year round. By the ocean. Where there are mountains and outdoor activities and bugs the size of my scooter. Maybe they have men there.  But not horrid traffic. I don’t need good schools (no kids), good roads (SUV) or great houses (I’m loving renting). Just good people who like some adventure and a job that interests and sustains my short attention span.
Yes, Colorado will always be my state.. but maybe I could dip my toe in other waters for a few years.

So I guess I should thank eHarmony. Its a humiliating achievement.. to have outdated my state. But maybe it will kick off my next adventure…

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