Things I will not be doing on my days off

Things I will not be doing on my days off

Since I’m not going anywhere for my ‘holiday’ this year, I am refraining from the term ‘vacation’ .But yes, I will be taking some days off next week to de-frenzy my brain, catch up on Iron Man movies and generally do random shit without caution. In order to create some semblance of ‘fun times’ even though Colorado seems to have adopted Seattle weather this month, I’m trying to come up with creative activities that I wouldn’t normally do… and which don’t involve sitting at my desk in front of my PC.

Holiday activities I will not be undertaking

1. Surreptitiously checking my email on my phone (because that’s not really ‘working’). 

As of Friday at 5pm, I am deleting my work email account from my iphone for 1 week. Oh yes.. I mean it when I say ‘not available’ to my boss. Even thinking about this makes me nauseous, and therefore I consider it essential not to check email for the duration.  Instead I will learn to use my iPhone for new things.. like finding porn or making phone calls. Or maybe both at the same time.

2. Any activity involving 409, Tide, green scrubbies or a Swiffer.

If I were residing in a hotel in some seaside resort next week I’d certainly not be worried about the cleanliness of my floor/bathtub/fridge etc. Therefore for the entire week, neither will I.
FYI – anyone visiting my house will be forewarned about the proliferation of dog hair.  He can’t help it and for 1 week, I don’t care. Or I’ll try really hard not to care and therefore probably won’t be turning on any lights next week. I guess candles are ‘holiday’ ish and if I get enough I can mimic that whole ‘fire pit’ thing.

3. Wearing a bra

Sorry guys, but someday’s you just don’t wanna. And since its my holiday.. well some days I’m not gonna. If I were on vacation, I’d be living in my bikini and even then, probably skipping the whole deal on occasion.. after all, sunburn hurts and shoulder straps hurt. There’s just a special kind of freedom from skipping the whole bra thing.. So, while it might be raining next week and my chances of sun burn are pretty much 0%.. I’m still going to consider this my vacation from underwear. Except for during Cross Fit. No-one wants to lose an eye.

4. Cooking

Well I’ve pretty much taken a vacation from cooking since I moved into my apartment (no dishwasher, no room, no company).. but next week is ‘eat out’ week. All week. On vacation I’d be eating out each meal, even if it meant Bubba’s every day and sushi every night so I don’t see why next week should be any different. Plus, Denver has waaaaaay better restaurant options than anyplace I’d be staying on vacation and our food trucks rock. .. so hey.. bring on the lobster. Bring on the tamales. And yes, I would like dessert.  Sure I’ll be eating alone, but I’ve always had fun at the bar and on staycation.. I don’t have to worry about skeezy men following me back to my hotel. At home I’m armed and my dog can sound pissy.

5. Paying for Doggie Hoteling

One of the major costs of vacationing when you’re single and your friends have cats.. is the hellacious cost of kenneling. If, like me, you love your dog.. you spring for the place with the day care, the swimming pool and the comfy cosy place to sleep which runs $250 a week.  However since I’m staycationing next week, Francis will be with me at no cost. And sure, it means I  won’t get to sleep in or stay out all night.. but at least I’ll have company during my afternoon naps and I won’t be worrying about whether he misses me.

So while a stay-cation isn’t quite as freeing as hopping on a plane to somewhere hot and sunny, abandoning all of the niggles of the day to day… I am going to make sure that its a holiday from the norm for me. And if anyone wants to join me for an afternoon showing of Mud, an afternoon nap in front of a John Hughes movie, a motorcycle or bike ride or dinner at Potager.. you have my number.  Just don’t ask me to do any unscheduled jumping about.. you might lose an eye.

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