Horoscope for Capricorns
Hey, its day 2 of a monster migraine.. so sue me for a crappy title. I’m still writing even though I’m wearing sunglasses inside and all I see out of left eye resembles my parents aging Trinitron (a lot of vertical lines).
And since I’m partially blind, this means in the eyes of my employer I can still work.. but in the eyes of Rachael.. the only thing I can really do is surf random sites in the hope of coming across a ‘new creative idea’ for internal communications.
Hence, I’m reading my horoscope.
Which is exciting because a) its an eclipse tonight and b) this apparently means lurve is on the horizon. Talk about making my dog walks kinda loaded.
In fact my horoscope for today was ‘single and looking for love? Today might be the start of a whirlwind affair’. Well lets just say I have my eyes peeled for Mark Ruffalo and I won’t be leaving the house in non matching underwear today.
Not that I think ‘whirlwind affair’ equates to sex with a stranger while out walking the dog (my life is weird, but not that weird), but I do feel the universe demands matching underwear and knowing my luck, today is going to be the day that I get run over by Edward Norton. And he, surely, expects matching underwear.
You never know.
So, seeing that the universe is positively demanding that I go out and find a crush, a love, start an affair or just flash my new Freya thong at someone.. where to start?
Well after consulting my positively ‘packed’ calender of activities, all I see on the horizon is a looming first date with a potential douce, a yoga class and movie night ‘Ingredients’ courtsey of my community garden.
What can I say, I roll hard.
Thinking that perhaps these activities aren’t likely to illicit any whirlwind anything (certainly not with the douce who refers to himself in the third person constantly), I am planning on adding some other activities to my day in the hope that for once, my horoscope might be somewhat on track. I don’t count a date with Mr. Potatohead as my ‘lurve’ connection for 2013 and c’mon .. its already May. If it continues in this vein, I’m going to start grabbing the sweaty youth at my Crossfit gym or stalking the bike mechanics at Specialized. And I’ve already terrified one mechanic this year.. I need to leave some available for actual working on my bikes.I can’t ostracize myself from every mechanically inclined male in Denver.. I break too many things when I ride.
But here’s the weird thing. For the first time in a while the actual thought of all that effort, all that ‘getting to know you’ stuff, primping and pretending, all that phone tag stuff and ‘so.. tell me about your sister’ just sounds exhausting. The thought of a ‘date’… yerch..
I’m so sore from working out, brain dead from an insane workload and irritable from my last performance review (promotion now due in 2020) I think any guy who came near me might get his head bitten off and his ass whupped.. and to be honest, that seems more appealing that lurve.
Hmm.. maybe instead of seeking lurve.. I need to start exploring the local S&M community?
Wanted – dude to have his ass whupped by really irritated female who really doesn’t give a shit about walks on the beach or your personal growth. Hmmm.. I wonder if that’s part of tomorrow’s horoscope?