Craigslist Woes: Missed Connections
It is a tough week. So as with all tough week’s, I read Missed Connections to make me feel better. Nothing like poking around in someone else’s love life to take your mind off yours (or lack of). One day I hope someone will write something terribly romantic and meaningful and I’ll recognize myself as the intended target, but largely I read them because its better than any soap opera/ CSI/ HBO special I’ve ever experienced.
March has been no exception. I’ve been following one particular gentleman who has posted the ongoing status of his relationship through a series of ‘missed connections’ to his girlfriend/online date/stalking target -‘Socialbutterfly-Caligirl’
Starting out in February I noticed this posting simply because the M4W (man looking for a woman), was ‘Looking for my Socialbutterfly-Caligirl’ The nickname had to be an online dating profile and it sounded like an interesting missed connection. According to his note, they’d been chatting online and she’d ‘disappeared’. Well, been there my friend. I can think of at least, mmm, 10 guys who I’ve chatted with online and then disappeared from. Largely because there is only so much you can say to a stranger before it either turns into porn, or you arrange to meet. Guess this guy had bored her away or something…
But then in late February another post appeared for Socialbutterfly-Caligirl (SBCG), again from Mr. M4W,
‘ I looked for you on Friday but didn’t see you. Where were you girl? I miss you’
Had she stood him up for their second date ? Or was he simply stalking her? Disturbing. Since it was weeks since his original post, he was still using her online profile name, I can only assume the latter. After all, I rarely actually use anyone’s real name when online dating.. there are way too many Dave, John and Joes. Instead my dates remain Nurseman39 or walksintowalls43 until we actually meet. I guess Mr. M4W was still stalking his SBCG and hadn’t actually met her. Oooo. Scary.
Since I didn’t have any info on him, I wondered who SBCG was. This guy was clearly obsessed and I wanted to see the source of the numerous posts.. (plus I was on the worlds most boring conference call).
You’d be amazed how many online profiles exist for SBCG.. literally hundreds of socially adept Californians (most, weirdly, huge Christians) on match, plentyoffish, okcu’pid and chemistry.com. Every color, every age…no telling which one was getting stalked by M4W. One thing I did learn. California is full of social butterflies. Colorado, not so much. Must be all the snow.
Then last week, the next post pops up
‘To the socialbutterfly-Caligirl who sent me to jail last week’.
Oooooo. Break out the CSI!!! This is getting interesting.
‘I forgive you and I still love you. I lost my job and my car as a result of last Saturday’s events, along with any belief or faith I had that you are the kind and sweet person that I once knew…’
So they had met, or he really was delusional. And WOW… what on earth had she done that resulted in someone losing their job AND their car on a Saturday night? (unless he was a cab driver?). Did they have a fight? Was someone arrested? Juicy stuff.
‘Your two children from two different failed marriages, along with the two little girls of my own that you abandoned..’
Oh shit, this isn’t an online date stalker, this is actually a guy in a relationship with a woman and they have a family???
Suddenly this went from dating humor to human tragedy. (And still my biggest question was, ‘why does he still call her Socialbutterfly-Caligirl?’ I mean, even as a nickname its kind of unwieldy?)
‘Me? I will move on with my life and keep my faith in love and my faith that there is someone out there for me who is as beautiful as you once were.’
Hang on. So who has the kids? His kids? Does she have the four kids or did she give them up to someone? I hope someone has the kids, but I’m a little judgmental that you, Mr.M4W, aren’t apparently in their life any more. Or are you? And what happened that she’s not beautiful any more? Was it one of those acid in the face things, or maybe just the aftereffects of a whole lot of meth? Or maybe it meant internally not beautiful?
Ugh.. I need more info here and now I’m kind of stressed about the whole thing.
Which is when I realized that while Missed Connections is basically the equivalent of writing on the bathroom stall, it is for some, the only way of communicating.. even when its probably not the most appropriate method. And yes, mostly its people wondering about the hot chick running around Wash Park, but sometimes its real and ugly and tragic. And me, poking around in them, isn’t funny. I’m inserting myself into someone else’s drama (or playing fly on the wall), and its actually kind of disgusting.
So today I officially resign from my Missed Connections daily spy. I don’t need to explore others pain or hurt or anger. I get enough of that at work.
Plus I am still worried about those kids, and whether that guy ever got his car back.