The Bermuda Triangle of the 40s’: The F buddy

I’ve heard about this phenomenon. According to most of my guy friends and any friend under 35, everyone has had one, has one or just got rid of one. The F buddy. The person you call when you’re lonely, when you have that itch or just want to warm up on a cold winter night. He (or she) isn’t not long term relationship material (since life isn’t a romantic comedy), and its purely a friends with benefits situation where you show up, ‘buddy up’ and then leave. At the age of 40, shouldn’t these things been normal? After all, we’re past having kids, we’re not insane enough to hold out for Mr or Mrs Right (unless we’re ‘protecting our junk’ weirdos), and its a human requirement to want to be with someone now and again.
But here’s my quandary. How does one find such a person?I’ve looked, I’ve asked and apparently I have a big sign over my head saying ‘danger’ because I can’t find one for love OR money. (not that I’m at the point of paying yet, but never say never).
I’ve been told that I’m ridiculous and that I could and should have one by now if I just put it out there.. but I have to say, no matter where I look, I don’t see how you find one. I’ve asked, I’ve been totally up front and all I’ve ever gotten is blank looks and men with very small bladders exiting very fast. Maybe I’m too honest, or maybe I’m throwing my not-so-subtle hints in the wrong direction  but at 40 I’ve yet to land this white whale.
So you might think ‘ but you don’t ask!!!’ in which case, how do you land one? And if the guy is too scared that I’m actually relationships hunting… why don’t they even dip their toe in the water to see whats what? I’m beginning to think that I’ve either got a sign on my head saying ‘relationship only’ or I truly did get hit by the ugly stick at some point. Maybe I became physically repulsive or scary cat lady and no one told me, but trying to find a ‘buddy’ is tougher than finding a damn boyfriend in this town. With no takers and no desire for a relationship I’m stuck facing a winter of Project Runway re runs and a lot of downward dogs. That might be good for my karma but it sure isn’t  finding me any buddies. 

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